Review: But I Love Him, by Amanda Grace

Publisher: Flux (May 8th, 2011) Category: Young Adult Paperback: 264 pages Tonight was so much worse than anything before it. Tonight...

Publisher: Flux (May 8th, 2011)
Category: Young Adult
Paperback: 264 pages

Tonight was so much worse than anything before it. Tonight he didn't stop after the first slap.
At the beginning of senior year, Ann was a smiling, straight-A student and track star with friends and a future. Then she met a haunted young man named Connor. Only she can heal his emotional scars; only he could make her feel so loved — and needed. Ann can't recall the pivotal moment it all changed, when she surrendered everything to be with him, but by graduation, her life has become a dangerous high wire act. Just one mistake could trigger Connor's rage, a senseless storm of cruel words and violence damaging everything — and everyone — in its path.
This evocative slideshow of flashbacks reveals a heartbreaking story of love gone terribly wrong.


          "But I Love Him" is a story of great depth, that delivers a lot of character struggle throughout the events that occur.

           The story is told backwards for us not to meddle in the middle of the plot and say "This is where she should've left". By writing it in this matter, we are forced to read it entirely and only after that, judge or not her actions and decisions.

           There are multiple ways in which Ann, the main character, is hurt. Connor abuses her not only verbally, but also physically, emotionally and all of it has a significant impact on her. She's not herself anymore, she's afraid of having any friends, she forces herself to a lonely and abusive life.

            However, her love for him is too great for her to just walk away. So she endures it all, hoping he'll eventually change and that she'll be his saviour: "I wanted to be his life preserver, the thing that would keep him afloat. Instead, he became my anchor. And I’m tired of drowning."

            So, does she eventually realize she's making a mistake by sticking with him or does she leave?

            Because of the way everything was told, I somehow fell in love with the ending. It was so, so simple and yet it stayed with me long after I finished reading it. I still remember the words and I don't think the book could've ended better.

             I strongly recommend it, if you're into these types of books that follow more the character's emotions rather than the story itself.

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